moving

just to let you know. I am now moving to sophstomorrow.tumblr.com

hope to see you there

Ponga-Ponga und Kulturschock

This is for all the fun times we shared
All the times we drank
Then I drink to this, the fun, stressful, sad, happy times ahead.
To all the things we discussed.
For the times we slept through
The times where we laughed sang and cried.

Came up with our own words,
Became a weekly fascination
Things that could define what we went through
Things you wouldn’t understand but somehow people do

Times where it was only funny to me
But embarrassing to you
For the all the wonder walls, kompliments and sex on fire’s
For the wine, beer, whiskey and cokes.

For the ponga-pongas
For lame jokes
For the times we shared.
For the times we learned
Slept, joked, talked, slept.

Misuse of the speaker system
For the bonfire, and bread
For all the closeness
For the friendships
For the music
For the groups.

This is for you.

TRAVEL UPDATE #1

Its October, the 10 month of the year, almost 5 months of me living in Germany.
So far, my life here has been travelling, and working. Travelling as a backpacker (first time as well!) and working here at a local radio in Weimar.

I have been able to go to places i have always wanted to see. Places that have a meaning for me.
I have hopped to Canada, seen the west side, more specifically Vancouver Island, and Vancouver. Had a little love liason there.

Been to Holland, to visit my roots, and family. Seen the landscape where my family comes from (well at least). Seen the beach in the first time in several months. It makes you realise how lucky one is that one can live near the beach. Makes me realise I took it for granted.

Been to Vienna, met people, followed people. Falling. Partying, visited landmarks, got to know it better. Would go back if i could to see it better.

Been to Basel, if only for a quick time. Saw it at night, saw lights flickering, almost like it was an intergalactic galaxy with lights flicking, not being able to see it proper. Would see it better by day.

Stuck in Germany with a grin on my face. As long as I am enjoying this, its more than i could ask for.

Those were the times, we laughed, we sang, we cryed.

Todays Wednesday.

Its the middle of the week, two more days to go until the weekend.

Its almost 10 in the morning. start of a long writing process ahead, one where im like emptyheaded after.

Frankly, right now, I just want to sleep. The weather is such a good weather to sleep long and hve a relaxed day.

Tomorrows Thursday. Hopefully I will get that USB-Internet stick to skype. If Deutsche bank decides to cooperate

And then its Friday. And then its the weekend. then its a week in nomand lands. And then it all starts again.

I'll miss you. You were always the quiet one but you were always there. :'(

"We packed all our bags and we moved to the shack on the hill
Living like kings we relied on the cheapest of thrills
Plenty of wine and guitars and an old 8 track
Nothing to worry about in that holy shack
Just a place where we could be ourselves
89 freedom street where everything happens and nobody sleeps" - 89 Freedom Street by Something With Numbers

i hear your words, i call my name

To belong to a Generation - what does that mean?

What does that actually mean. The dicitonary defines "Generation" as

a. A group of individuals born and living about the same time.

b. A group of generally contemporaneous individuals regarded as having common cultural or social characteristics and attitudes: "They're the television generation" (Roger Enrico).

One associates to belong as a form of security, a form of posession. Does belonging to a generation mean a sense of security? but what of those who feel they were born at the wrong time and in the wrong generation? What then?

wir waren dabei, wir sind dabei uns so verliern

Todays date is October 1st 2009. It is the anniversary of 20 years "Wendeherbst" ("Wendeherbst" is a german term to describe the autumn of '89 before the wall fell). During this time there was alot of uprising and demonstrations leading to the falling of the Berlin Wall.

Wikipedia, under the article "Wende in der DDR ("the turning point in the GDR")", describes this as

"Im Herbst 1989 protestierte eine wachsende Zahl von DDR-Bürgern in einer Reihe von friedlichen Demonstrationen gegen die Politik der SED. Repressionsmaßnahmen wie die Schließung der Grenze zur Tschechoslowakei im September 1989 oder Polizeieinsätze gegen Demonstranten wie Anfang Oktober 1989 in Berlin erhöhten die Unzufriedenheit. Die SED-Führung verzichtete zuletzt auf den Einsatz von Staatsgewalt gegen die Demonstranten, versuchte durch einen Wechsel des Spitzenpersonals und durch Dialogbereitschaft am „Runden Tisch“ vergeblich politische Initiative zurückzugewinnen, ließ am 9. November 1989 die Grenzöffnung zur Bundesrepublik und West-Berlin zu und musste ihre Machtposition schließlich aufgeben und den Weg zu einer frei gewählten Volksvertretung freigeben."

TRANSLATION: - In the autumn of 1989, an increasing number of GDR-habitants protests in a row from peaceful demonstrations against the politics of the SED. Law enforcements measurements, such as the closing of the border to the Czech Republic in September 1989 or the riot police against the protestors, like in beginning of October 1989 in Berlin, only increased the unhappiness. The SED-party waivered lastly on a deployment of lawyers against the protestors, tried through a change of keyleaders and through talks at the "round table" in futile attempts to win back political initiative. Despite this, they let the borders open to the German Republic (West Germany) and West-Berlin on the 9th of November and had to lastly give up their powerful position to ensure a path to freely-chosen parliament."

I was born 2 years after this fact, and despite having a mother who grew up in the DDR (GDR to all you english speaking people) I can't imagine what it was like to grow up in a divided country. All that I know from the DDR is from movies, history lessons and from stories told to me by my german relatives who grew up or are old enough to remember these times.
But from what I have been told, I feel grateful for the times that I grew up and that because of, what would have been now 60 years DDR, those times and the stories it also makes me aware that i had it so much lighter than my mum. Yes it was a different generation, but I grew up in a country where I could freely see my family and friends, not having to live in fear that my official permission to leave the country may not be approved. And thanks to mum living in the DDR and wanting more than living a very controlled country, I grew up knowing freedom and fighting for those who dont have a better life than i do.

GOTH VS. EMOS

This is probably a topic that has been discussed way too many times but its a topic that came into my mind on the walk to the train station on the way home. Basically it generates from a memory (recent one mind you) where dad and i were at a second hand bookshop back in Australia, on the one street where a lot of emos walk past (because there is a rather large independent CD store further up the street - to get there you kinda have to walk past this second hand bookstore). Somehow the conversation with the bookseller turned to goths and emos and what the hell the difference is. Best description i have heard to distinguish them both - "Emos - the parents pay for the clothing"

That lead me to think what is the actual difference between these two very similar but different "stereotypes".

So doing some research on the internet (thank you Google father company of blogger!) i came up from this answer on yahoo answers (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060817075421AAgLcEk) from the user Solrium.

"Goths - these are the little brothers and sisters, spawned from the Elder Goths - grew up in the 90s; a lot more violent, and quiet a bit more anti-disestablishment. They saw the inaction of elder goths as weak mindedness and general lack of "true feelings." They were very passionate, however stood tight to the feelings of intelligence and understanding. Many are currently in their 20s' and various still maintain a strong appearance, while others have lowered their flags to try and make some money in the world.


now emo:


Emo: besides the original use of it in the 1980s, which was the exact opposite as it is today - Emo kids think it stands short for "emotional"; however it's something MUCH different.

Look it up, I won't go much into it.

Anyway - Emo kids wear jeans and a black shirt - not the common all black wear of a Goth; and they don't do the entire industrial scene, which a Goth wouldn't mind. Emo kids wear jeans and a band shirt, have black hair, and unlike their cousins the Goths - they don't believe in disestablishment, instead, they don't give two flying screws about the Establishment of the poltiical or religious scene.

Instead, all they worry about is themselves. How the world affects them. How their parents are against them. How everyone is against them. Their dog is against them. Their girlfriend was obviously planning on breaking his heart the whole time.

The entire emo scene promotes self centerdness, and pitty, in attempts to gain attention and praise, support from others. Instead of the Goth/Punk scene that strode towards self accomplishments and self realization through the blood and sweat of the self.

Oh, and you'd never see an Emo kid doing a suspension or a crucification off of fish hooks for fun like some of the "extreme" industrial goths would. Instead, Emo hasn't had enough time to grow as a culture to allow for difference inside of itself, and an "extreme" Emo kid is basically one that puts a suicide note on myspace and goes through with killing himself. Maybe in 10 years time we will see the spawn of the Emo children, and have some variation to the blood, but as of right now it's a heavily influenced MTV scene that has not had any time to grab hold as a subculture in itself."


Me, I think I am sitting on the borderline between emo and normal...According to facebook, I am an indie emo. But like most things, you shouldn't really take those quizzes seriously. But just for the sake of arguments I am just going to use it. But i don't really consider myself to be an emo - just because i like some screamo music, black hoodies, black skinny jeans, my connies, and the alternate colour in my hair it doesnt mean i am an emo...

Okay I know this was a long long long long (breaks the up-til-now-non-existent-record-of-longest-post ever!) post but it's kinda a make-up post to the silent internet-frequencies due to my travels.

"Another promise, another scene, another
A package not to keep us trapped in greed
With all the green belts wrapped around our minds
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined
(So come on!)" Uprising by Muse

and now we are counting down the times, we know how it feels

Break ups are never so easy to deal with. If you think about it, it may seem strange to break up with someone, where the week before you might have said "I love you". But the idea to break up, may have just have been on the spot, where it becomes clear that the relationship isnt working, or it might have been a decision that was decided over a period of time.

It doesn't help that it hurts. I broke up with my ex, recently. I thought that the breakup would hit me hard but it didnt until it was confirmed. For a couple of days i was fine, but now a bit of me is falling apart.