left out in the dark

you know that feeling, if you are a middle child that you are being abandoned/left out.

Its like that with me. I am the oldest child with my parents, but with my cousins I am in the middle. My younger cousin is, I admit, a tad more intelligent than me. My older cousin, was premature and has that sympathy factor. Me, I was born normal and average.
For years, I have always had the feeling that mum wanted me to be like my younger cousin, smart and intelligents, only getting A+ and B+'s.
So I have always felt like people want me to be other people, not who I am. I am lucky to have a guy that loves me for who i am, regardless of how crazy I can be.
But letting go of that feeling of being left out, like he's the cool kid, and I'm just the kid in the hallway...that is probably never going to go away.